God and Satan

ONLY 3 WEEKS TO GO!!!!

Woweee, so no posts in a while, in a very long while in fact, but here i am, ready to pour my feelings out to you.

So today (Monday 26th December 2011) marks only 3 weeks till i leave to go to New Zealand, and recently ive been going through a wirlwind of emotions which range from pure excitement to disbelief and then to sadness and terror.

I suddenly get these strange moment of realistaion that im actually going to the other side of the world and when i say it out loud to myself it sounds completely mad and bonkers, like its some kind of dream and im going to wake up any moment. Then when i actually start to think about and after spending an amazing christmas with my family i start to think about all the things im going to leave behind and how much i will miss them, even as im writing this im getting a little teary-eyed, but thats what i need this blog to be... a place where i can come and write about my feelings and get them out of me and onto this page so im not so tortured by mixed feelings building up inside of me.

I'm going to miss my family more than you can imagine and im already dreading the good byes at the airport because i know it will be one big tear-filled mess which will be hard to get over for a short time, but i think it will be needed so everyone can get it out of their systems. This is probably going to sound weird to those of you without pets but im seriously going to miss my little puppy Molly mostly because you can't explain things to dogs so i dont want her to pine for me and think im never coming back, but i know someday i will, and i know that in the mean time my mumma and puppa will take very good care of the little devil :). I'm not so much going to miss all the luxuries you get at home that i wont see so much in new zealand, but thats how i want it to be! completely stripped back, just me, my backpack and the open road (so to speak) this way i know i will appreciate my experiences a whole lot more. :)

Now on to the overwhelming excitement i get in small doses every now and then!... When i talk about my forthcoming adventure with people from either at home or at work i start to get crazy excited because i can see the jealousy in some of their eyes and i can tell that they wished they had the chance to do what im doing when they were my age, after all, your only young once and this is the best time to see the world, when you have no responsibilities, no cares and no worries. HAKUNA MATATA, as some of my animated friends would prefer to say. It is now actually only 2 weeks and 2 days till i go as i got too tired to finish this post when i actually started writing it, and now im even more excited and the looming departure date gets closer and closer with each passing day!

I realise that because this is like a major step to take the good feelings don't come on their own, running up behind are the bad ones which you just want to push down and forget about them, but you can't do that, you have to take the good with the bad and i know i will have to remember this whilst out on my travels because it wont always be fun and games. However i am going to try my damned hardest to make sure it is :)

Peace out xxxx